


forecasts

by FreezingKaiju



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Camilla In Evangelion, Drabble Collection, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, background toji/kensuke in 2, dont worry about the timestamps its just a thing in this au, more characters and tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreezingKaiju/pseuds/FreezingKaiju
Summary: drabbles related to [still unnamed horror au].chapter 1: asurei, hurt-comfort, nightmares. set during high school.chapter 2: asurei and background kentoji, fluff, party games and misplaced jealousy. set during high school.chapter 3: camirei and implied asurei, fluff and hurt-comfort, clarifications and confessions. set after high school.chapter 4: asurei, autistic Rei moments, some childhood rivals stuff
Relationships: Ayanami Rei/Camilla, Ayanami Rei/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29





	1. my clones, my nightmares, and me

**Author's Note:**

> Asuka visits Rei in the middle of the night to get her mind off some troubles, and discovers her rival having troubles of her own.
> 
> trigger warnings: strangulation, nightmares, clones, implied parental issues

12:50. July. Asuka couldn’t sleep. Or not in the house. Fear of dad, bad memories of mom, what can ya do? And Hikari was always asleep by 9 sharp. Only one solution for it.

She cracked her neck to the side and stared up at Rei’s window. Open, light off. Crack knuckles, roll knees, let’s go.

Asuka stepped back, assuming something diagonal to a sprinter’s pose, and sprung forth, her running start flowing to a jump as she sprung off the heater, swung off a drain and kicked off the top of an old car-parts workbench, resisting the urge to do a flip as she dug her foot into a hole in the siding and ended with the satisfying-as-ever  _ slam _ of her hands on the windowsill. 

“ _ Gutentag _ , Wonder Girl!” Asuka shouted, “Whatcha doing? Staring at a wall? Reading a  _ gripping  _ physics thesis?”

“No.”

Asuka sighed and pulled herself up, chin on the sill. “Alright, alright, I’ll quit it, what’re—“

“No,” Ayanami repeated. It was...it almost sounded sad. That wasn’t normal.

“ _ Scheiße _ ,” Asuka muttered, clambering the rest of the way through the window. The room was completely dark, thank fuck there was never a single thing on her floor. She kicked off her shoes and took a few steps closer to the bed.

She heard Ayanami whimper. That was... oh that’s bad. Asuka, as much as she loathed to, was starting to worry.

“Wonder Girl...?”

“No...no, .” Ayanami murmured, Asuka’s eyes adjusted enough to see her jerk away from the wall like a distressed marionette. Her eyes were shut tight, arms tightly hugging her chest.

_ She’s having a nightmare, _ Asuka realized. She felt like she was intruding but... fuck. If it got bad, she reasoned, Ayanami’d need someone to snap her out!

Ayanami continued to mutter “No” as her arms slowly loosened, hands dropping to her sides... and then snapped up. 

Asuka watched in horror as Ayanami’s hands twisted around her own neck. Her ever-blank face twisted in desperate struggle (or how close Ayanami could come to it). 

Panicked, Asuka grabbed Ayanami’s wrists and  _ yanked _ , which served only to yank the entire rival forward. “ _ Scheiße! _ Wonder Girl!” She grabbed onto Ayanami’s hands and tried prying them off. Her rival was beginning to choke, grip tightening only more. “Ayanami! Wake the fuck up!  _ Rei!” _

Rei’s eyes snapped open. Asuka felt her tense, and she stumbled back, meeting her terrified, red gaze. Slowly, her eyes dilated, and she peeled her clammy hands off her neck, drawing a shaky breath. There were scars on Rei’s neck, ones Asuka’d never noticed before; it hit her that Rei’s uniform collar was always done up higher than usual. 

Rei breathed out, then in, and Asuka gave her time. She had the patience to wait for Asuka to compose herself often enough, and Asuka was especially game to return favors right then.

“Asuka,” Rei broke the silence.

“What, did you expect Shinji? Your incredible perfect brother coming to save you from the big bad nightmares?”

“No.”

“Hah! Figures, he’d be too chickenshit to do anything. Idiot’d probably break his own hands trying to pull yours off. Or he’d just watch like a gargoyle. You’re lucky someone as capable as me was here to rescue you!”

“I am used to no help but myself.”

Asuka paused, trying to think of a response to that  heartbreaking pitiful statement. She decided to parry, rather than dwell on why exactly that little sentence felt like she’d been stabbed somewhere deep down. “...what kind of shit shows up in your dreams to make... _ that _ happen?”

Ayanami didn’t respond immediately. Asuka could hazard a guess that she was staring off into space, thinking about phrasing. She was always one for thinking everything through. Asuka couldn’t really relate.

“...me.”

“You?”

“Me. Dozens... twenties... hundreds, maybe, of me. Floating. Staring.”

“Mirrors...?”

“Clones. I could tell. Somehow, I knew.” Rei’s hand went up again, and Asuka worried for a split second that she was going to repeat. “I felt wrong. Imperfect. Defective.”

“Wrong! That’s wrong, you’re not!” Asuka exclaimed, but Rei kept going.

“They could tell. The clones... they knew I came out wrong. And one of them put her hands around my neck. I was alone, aside from all of me. Shinji, Major Katsuragi, Makinami, Horaki, none of them were there to help. Not even you,” Rei finished. Her face betrayed just a twinge of fear, but the rest of her shook. 

“Rei.” Asuka reached a hand over to her rival’s shoulder. “I’m here now. And I won’t leave. If you need me.”

Rei’s eyes met Asuka’s again, and she sighed. “...Hold me. I need you.”

Asuka’s eyes cycled back to the handful of times in recent past she’d needed Rei to hold her, how awkward her hold was but how she’d always obliged. She turned and laid (well, slapped, really) down on Rei’s bed and pulled her into an embrace.

Rei practically  _ nuzzled _ into Asuka’s embrace. “Thank you.”

Asuka didn’t respond. Hearing Rei’s heartbeat this close, feeling her in her arms, knowing her rival was safe... that was enough.


	2. taste, acquired and liared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei brings Asuka to a gathering, plays Never Have I Ever, and makes a mistake. 
> 
> trigger warnings: self-loathing, heteronormativity

Saturday evening, 9:33 PM exactly, early October. Rei had been making an effort to join more social gatherings, for the sake of providing Asuka with more to occupy herself. It wouldn’t fill the hole Hikari had left so recently, Rei knew that, but she needed to make sure Asuka was taking care of herself and talking to people. She could only describe herself as ‘unreliable’ in that sense. Or ‘empty.' Asuka’s descriptions of Rei as a doll were somewhat accurate; even with the promise she’d made, Rei felt like she herself was simply a doll, filling the hole in Asuka’s heart until someone real came along to sweep her off her feet. She was resigned to the fact that someday all she’d be to Asuka was a funny story, a little joke from the past about her teenhood rival, an old doll gathering dust in the attic of a home she’d leave behind.

But now she was in Toji’s house, and everyone was alive and real. She was seated across from Asuka, between Shinji and Toji himself, with Kensuke rounding out the quintet as if their sixth member wasn’t ever a thing (and their seventh, too, but Mari was out of town). 

They were playing a game, one Shinji had to explain to her in detail: Never Have I Ever. Apparently it was supposed to be played with alcohol, but all Toji had was sodas, so it was less a game of drunkenness and more one of caffeinated hype. Rei had far too many things she’d never done, and far too few that she had. Her cup was, so far, untouched.

“Your, uh... Your turn, Kensuke!” Shinji prompted, likely to divert attention from himself. It was always odd how often he rotated on that. 

“Right!” Kensuke adjusted his glasses and smiled. “Neeever have I ever... fallen in love!”

As she took the first drink of the night (and a long one at that), the first thing Rei noticed was Toji’s face, his mouth curled to a frown for just a moment before he hid it behind a generous chug of his drink. The second was the fact her brother hadn’t drunk; maybe Shinji didn’t count his past infatuations as “love.” Rei found herself almost insulted on Asuka’s behalf.  _ Almost _ being the operative word.

The third was that the others were  _ all _ staring at her.

“You’ve  _ what?! _ ” Asuka, of course, broke the silence. The irony was impeccable. Here, the object of the one connection Rei was sure of, the one she knew deep down fulfilled and exceeded the checklist of “what is love?”, was completely blindsided by it.

Rei looked between the incredulous stares of the others, and nodded. Asuka looked like she was going to explode. 

“Who is he?” Shinji asked, leaning in with wide eyes.

_ Asuka, _ Rei wanted to answer. But… Asuka was  _ there. _ And she wouldn’t take that well. What happened with Hikari was still fresh in her mind; despite Asuka’s constant conflicts between “in love” and “love is a lie” her true response to the possibility was _panic_. Rei didn’t want to do that to her. So… time to make up a name.

“Odin,” Rei responded, Norse myth on the brain for some reason. “Odin… Dark.”

Asuka’s face betrayed complete incredulousness. She wasn’t buying it, not for a minute. Not unless--

“OH!” Toji snapped his fingers. “Oh, he didn’t tell you his real name, did he?”

“His… ?” Had Rei’s lie succeeded that much with Toji? She stared at him, as did the others.

“Blond, loud as heck, dramatic flourishes, goth but yellow? Yeah, that’s Owen Horaki! Class rep’s cousin!” Toji said, scratching his hair with one hand as he leaned back. Rei had by no means a handle on what his body language meant, he may as well have been doing calisthenics from her point of view. “He’s been in some of my classes, we got into theater at the same time, and when I say ‘got into theater’,” he emphasized with air quotes, “I mean GOT INTO THEATER. Started going into every room and shouting,” now Toji stood up and posed, mouth open and arms outstretched like a supervillain from some childrens’ anime, “‘THE DREAD PRESENCE IS AMONGST THEE, MORTALS, FOR I AM ODIN DARK!’”

Kensuke and Shinji burst out laughing as Rei contemplated this. Her faux love was an actual person that she may now be pressured to speak to. This was one of the worst possible outcomes. Asuka was  _ visibly seething _ , but Rei could see something in her eyes that was… sad. She needed to rectify this immediately. “ _ Was. _ I was in love with him. It did not last.”

Toji rolled his eyes and sat back down. “Well, duh. The guy’s got a killer set of abs and he’s nice enough, he’s just gone  _ so _ scripted now, I dunno if anyone even likes him.”

“No one likes a loud drama queen,” Kensuke said, a statement Rei would disagree loudly with if she wasn’t such a coward. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Asuka flinch.

“Drama’s useful,” Shinji protested. “I’m in Drama Club...”

“But not in like, real life, Shinj!” Toji said with a sigh. “Are you gonna walk up to someone and start Shakespearin’ ‘em or are you gonna have a real talk?”

“Sometimes it’s romantic!”

Rei let herself breathe a sigh of relief as the conversation resumed its flow, and tuned the others out.

But Asuka was still staring right at her. Her brows were furrowed together, arms crossed in the universal Asuka signal of ‘fuck you, fuck emotions, get out of my sight’. Rei considered doing just that. Yet she also wished those arms could hold her, bring her into Asuka’s space rather than bar her away. Patience.

A smile formed on Asuka’s lips, one Rei couldn’t quite define; smug, aloof, but there was something she hadn’t seen before there too.

“Wonder Girl, your taste is  _ terrible _ .”


	3. a supportive talk; c-rank, at least.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei has a talk with a recent friend. Some things are admitted, and unexpected common ground is found.
> 
> (part of the exercises on having camilla interact with evangelion characters)
> 
> trigger warning: discussions of death and murder, discussions of child abuse,

“May I ask what’s on your mind?” 

The question must have shocked Rei, for she flinched; despite knowing her for months now, Camilla could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen that.

“...I did not notice you were there.”

“Oh!” Camilla stepped closer, leaning on the same banister Rei was. It was a beautifully rainy day, the gloom always felt somewhat... familiar to her. “Lost in thoughts, are you, dear? Well, I’d hate to leave you to that alone.”

“Why not?”

“Do you truly want the answer to that, Rei?” Camilla’s nigh-everpresent flirtatious smile opened into a smirk.

“Yes.”

She... hadn’t quite expected that. Nor would any innuendo she could build off that fluster Rei... that material was suited for miss Soryu, and her simply adorable repertoire of flustered reactions. No, with Rei, Camilla knew honesty was for the best. Even when it involved admitting things she’d rather not confront.

“...Because I’m lonely. Perpetually so. I yearn for companionship, really, but a talk will often suffice. And you provide such intriguing conversation~”

Rei’s gaze shifted away from her, to the horizon, or perhaps just the middle distance. “I provide the absence of company. My conversational skills leave more to be desired than those of a lamp. Speak to someone else.”

“Oh, dear... Was this what you were brooding on, then?” 

Rei took a long moment to respond. “Why do you refer to me as such?”

“I’m not quite sure what you mean, dear.”

“That. ‘Dear’. Why do you call me that?”

“Isn’t it clear?” Camilla asked.

“No. It is intensely vague. You are an exceedingly confusing person.”

Camilla decided to take this as a compliment, widened her smile, and explained, “It’s because you’re dear to me, Rei!” 

“Why?”

She raised her eyebrow, doing her best to hide her surprise. “Aren’t I dear to you?”

“No.” 

The word was flat, singular, and hit Camilla like a battleaxe. All effort to retain a pleasant expression was transferred to a desperate attempt to keep calm, to hold herself together. This was not the time to cry, this was not the time to scream,  _ this was not the time. _

“Ah. I... I-I see. Well, the reason is... you’re my dearest friend. The only friend I have, as of yet. And with my family having... temporarily separated... I happily cherish those I still have!” She attempted to salvage her smile at the end, hoping Rei wouldn’t bring up the tears stinging her eye.

“Am I your friend?” Rei asked, as if Camilla had been unclear, as if the shared class notes and evening hugs and movie night invitation and the quilt she’d shown Rei she was making for her were behaviors of a simple acquaintance.

But, Camilla reminded herself, she could be missing something. Or Rei could be missing context, missing the key features of what defined a friend. Or... or maybe it was...  _ Dear god, _ she thought, hand ghosting across the worn knife she kept for the emergency that could make its third appearance here,  _ please don’t let it be that. _

“...aren’t you?” she decided to respond.

For the second time, Rei was silent. Her red eyes stared into Camilla’s single good one, boring deep into Camilla’s soul...or perhaps into Rei’s own.

Rei opened her mouth and said, ”...I would... like to be. Forgive me, I have not had an official friend yet. I was not sure what it constituted.”

There it was. The truth Camilla has missed. She felt joy rush back into her, and her smile with it. “Oh! Oh, how lovely! I’ll make sure to be clearer with you in the future, then,” Camilla promised, “Now that our friendship is cleared up.”

Rei nodded, the ghost of a smile flicking across her face... before her glance rested on Camilla’s hip. “I am curious about that knife, however.”

“...what knife, Rei?” The fear returned.

“The knife that you touched the hilt of. I have noticed it several times prior.” 

Camilla flinched.  _ Was it that obvious?!  _ “..How did you...”

“If you could explain why you have it, I will explain why I noticed it,” Rei stated, eyes focusing back on Camilla herself.

_ Time to bite the proverbial bullet.  _ Camilla sighed. Why did this conversation carry so many potential ends to their friendship? Did the gods hate her? Well, of course they did, she knew that. “...very well. I’ve... had two friends, previously, who turned out to be assassins. I’ve learned to deal with that. With the inevitable betrayal that comes with my family name, with the lot in life my father dealt.” Camilla looked away, cutting herself off to spare Rei a ramble she’d save for her therapist.

“Is that the cause of your missing eye?” Rei pointed now to Camilla’s eyepatch, behind the bangs that hid it from sight. Of course Rei had seen past that cover.  


“That? No, dear, that... that was my... my sister. It... hurts remembering, but...”

“Then I will not pry.”

_ Soryu is right. She truly is wonderful... _ Camilla reaches down and ran her fingers through Rei’s hair. The smaller woman leaned into the touch, and Camilla responded, “I’ll tell you about her someday. About all the siblings that didn’t make it. And about my horrid excuse for a mother. Just... not yet, I’m not ready yet.”

Rei nodded. 

“Now, tell me why you saw my blade?” Camilla asked, withdrawing her hand from Rei’s hair. 

“...three.”

“Three?”

Rei continued, “You have had three friends who were assassins.”

Camilla’s face soured. “You what.”

Rei averted her eyes, her posture straightening further, almost... at attention. “I... did you never see the articles? Have you never heard of the Ikari trial?”

“No,” Camilla admitted.

“I was... my father used me. I was his tool. His assassin. The end of his enemies. I... killed for him. He... because of him, I still... question my humanity, my worth, my... the only person who I  _ know  _ views me as a  _ person _ is... is Soryu.” Rei’s tone, always so flat, wavered at the end. 

“Oh...oh, Rei...” Camilla felt herself become drowned in a sudden wave of empathy and sorrow. She was disgusted, sickened, horrified...she needed to make this right, somehow, no matter how impossible it was, she had to do something.

“There is no need to cry. I— mmph.” Whatever Rei was going to say was muffled by Camilla’s strong arms wrapping around her, pulling her into the pillowy protection of an embrace.

Hot tears streamed down both sides of Camilla’s face, pain flaring in her ruined eye, but so be it, her heart ached more. “Oh you darling, you poor dear, you  _ wonderful human person _ , that’s...that's horrible! To think of what a  _ monster _ your father was...of what a mark that’d leave...”

“...your hugs... are appreciated, but... please loosen your grip...” 

“Oh!” Camilla did as Rei asked, now hopefully cradling rather than crushing her. “My apologies, dear...”

“It is fine. You... are warm...” Rei buried her face in Camilla’s chest for a moment, then pulled away, the slightest blush dusting her cheeks.

“Is that good?”

“Extremely.” Rei’s gaze wandered again, and she added, “If... if  _ she _ was present, this would be perfect...”

Camilla knew exactly who ‘she’ was at this point. “Oh? Soryu? You... truly are that close to her.”

“You... are becoming dear to me,” Rei said, one hand twitching slightly, “Asuka... is more dear to me than my own existence. I am devoted to her. I sometimes am pained by her absence. In a sense, I am... smitten.”

“Oh.  _ Oh. _ ” Camilla’s smile widened.  _ Oh, they’re in love.  _ “Oh, this is  _ quite _ the development. Ohoho~”

“Elaborate.”

“Must I?” 

“...I suppose not.”


	4. And in my head I'd sing apologies and stare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two moments where Rei Ayanami went nonverbal, and Asuka Langley Soryu filled the silence. The latter leads to a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Includes: autistic Rei, a timejump between childhood to teenagerhood, references to Rei's trauma, panic attack, brief suicidal ideation, asuka going on a rant about street fighter V

Footsteps on the gravel, too light to be an adult’s, too determined to be any other kid. 

“There you are, Wonder Girl! How’re ya doin’?”

Rei turned her head, smiled, unaware how rare those would become in the future. For now and ever, though, they were for Asuka Langley Soryu’s eyes. She opened her mouth to say hello, to tell her about her day, to say something that’d make her freckled foe laugh. 

But the words stopped. 

Rei opened her mouth again, then sighed, closed it, and looked away from Asuka. Her words stuck in her mouth, like glue, like a snail, everything gummed til she can’t form a thing. 

Asuka leaned into Rei’s field of vision regardless. “Wonder Girl. I said,  _ how are ya? _ ”

Rei shook her head, pointed to her mouth. Uselessly. She knew that; that this would ruin their time here, that Asuka would run away, that maybe she could have needed Rei on the adventure today and without her, without her voice, this’d be the one where Asuka walked into the woods and disappeared forever.

“Huh? Got something in your mouth?”

Rei shook her head again.

“...hm.” Asuka frowned as she thought it over, then jumped up. “Oh! You can’t talk? Cuz of uh...some...brain thing?”

Eyes opening wide for the first time that day, Rei nodded, then shrugged. She didn’t know why, really, just that something was wrong with talking today. Felt bad. 

“Well...hm. Then we can still have adventure! I’ll just talk for you too, ok?”

Rei stopped a moment, thought about it, then nodded. Asuka handed her a fake sword (though she always swung hers like the real deal) and brandished her own, marching off to the forest with Rei in tow. 

And Rei didn’t even bother pretending to hate Asuka as they swordfought in the woods, as she listened to her talk about her family and games and whatever made her mad. Because Asuka Langley Soryu was her rival, and that’s close to a friend enough.

\--the teen years--

“...what’s wrong, Ayanami?”

Rei opened her mouth, desperate to speak. It was unrelated to her current... _ episode _ , merely an ordinary happenstance that rendered it more isolating, rendered her more alone. The counselor referred to it as a nonverbal experience, yet Rei cannot explain it as such, ironically, since she had no words to speak with. She wanted to scream, to swear, to weep into Asuka’s arms and let the other girl card her fingers through her hair and promise to dig up her dad’s corpse and beat him to double-death. But she couldn’t. 

All she could do was sit on a rock, staring up at the sky, and wait for death’s icy embrace.

“Oh shit, are you hurt?!”

Rei shook her head. She was uninjured, save for the phantom ache of hands on her neck, save for something aching in her heart. 

“...Non-talking day, then?”

Rei nodded, and heard the shuffling of grass underfoot, then felt Asuka’s presence slam down next to her. She could feel the redhead loom over her, a warm shadow, an existence that validates her own. A hand on her shoulder, sudden, welcoming. Rei nodded, leaned over slightly, rested her head on Asuka.

“It’s okay, Wonder Girl. Doesn’t bug me. Never has.” Asuka paused for a moment, tapped her finger against her chin, no doubt contemplating a solution, or just some way to help the situation. Rei trusted her more than her own existence, more than the stars in the sky. “...would talking help? I can just...say some bullshit, hope the noise comforts ya?”

_ It will not be noise _ , Rei wants to say,  _ I will treasure whatever you say _ , but she merely nodded, reached over, and intertwined her fingers with Asuka’s. She felt her rival’s face heat up, and loosened her grip, but didn’t pull away unless Asuka decided to...and the redhead seemed to be fine. 

“SO! Uh... Street Fighter V is  _ fucking garbage! _ ” Asuka began, vitriol already in play. “No fucking single player to start off, no world tour. No fucking training! How am I supposed to  _ train? _ Against you and Shinji? Everything’s missing. Plays fine, sure, fucking I guess, if that’s the metric then gimme a Skylanders title pronto, looks fun which I  _ guess, sure, hire some good artists to cover up your GARBAGE FIRE OF A GAME--” _

Were it not for her silence, Rei would have admitted it then and there. A sentiment, a plea, a truth that dies in her mouth and burrows its way back into the recesses of her mind: 

_ I love you, Asuka Langley Soryu, with all that I am and all I could ever be. _


End file.
